Listening Mindset

The 1-2-1

It goes without saying that you should regaularly have individual meetings with each of your chapter where you create a safe environment for them to discuss their work. As a minimum you should always cover off the following three topics at every catch up

  • How are your projects going at work?
  • What is happening outside of work?
  • How is your development going, what are you focusing on at the minute?
hex meeting
The time that we spend on each of these topics will depend on the individual needs and what you get out of the meeting and quite often you might agree to focus on one of these but as a miminum you should always check in on both.

As a Chapter Lead, we have expectations based on our own personal factors that influence how we see our chapter and individuals performance. We can fall into the trap of assuming that they go at the same speed, of have the same priorities as we do.

The important starting point is to begin every catch up with the mantra ‘It is not about me; it is about you’ and while you cover the three topics above really listen to what they have to say and always follow up each answer with at least one more question of ‘tell me more’. Always try and get them to elaborate further, rarely does the first answer have all the important information needed.

Listening

The speed that we speak at is roughly 140-180 words per minute but the speed that we listen and comprehend what is being said is roughly 400 words per minute.

Why is this important?

When we listen to someone, we can hear what is being said and then have the same amount of capacity again to think about a response. The difference in how fast they are talking and how fast you are listening creates the opportunity for the brain’s cognitive biases to operate and shape your perception of what is being said. Or you are not even really listening at all – ever notice that while you are listening to what is being said you are also thinking about your response at the same time so when they have finished telling you are ready to go with a reply?

By being aware of trying to really listen to what is being said and always asking “tell me more” it helps to focus your attention and at the same time draw more from the conversation. If you struggle to not think about an answer, try to focus on viewing the conversation from their perspective and how they might be feeling.

“tell me more”

If their project is not going to plan, don’t just try and solve but ask them to take you through their thinking and what have they tried. Don’t problem solve for them. The key to generating the empowerment is that they solve things, not you. To move too quickly to solution mode with going through their own thought development is that they rely on you and not their own problem thinking. They are not growing the mindset that creates lasting change

Being patient can at times feel frustrating but remember that your impatience is your own personal influence. Whoever you are with may not get everything at the same speed as you but there are no doubt other skills where they would be feeling impatient with you! While it might take a couple of meetings to work though something, the important thing is that within reason you go at their pace – so they feel in control, and they are empowered.

meeting2 hex

Finally, don’t fill the void when it goes quiet, be comfortable with the silence and let them fill it when they are ready. Remember they are also able to think far quicker than they can speak so you need to allow them to process and let them catch up. By giving permission to be silent you are allowing them to use their subconscious and their memory to discover – you are empowering them to think for themselves.